hehh.havent blogg for long..hmm 27th april.start of a new beginning..some pple would know what im talking about..well just hope things go well and things last =)

huimin is happy happy today too..was damn high with juelin just now..and everything seemed so happy just now..hope things stay the way they are or get better..

ponned 2hrs40min and went for 2hrs40mins of official lessons today..haha..ponned and sat in canteen with weixian..trying to solve math questions..haha..then me and wx were trying to help joel louis about sthh, we two abit too cunning la..and all joel did was sit there and eat his noodles..

hmm some things havent been going too well for some of my friends..really hope things do get better..our "everyone attached together" thing only lasted a few days.haii..love ya chuin..and cheer up tiffie..

got lots of undone work..need more time to catch up! and catch up on sleep too!!

todays a happy happy day..slept quite alot again..sleeping recharges huimin..and huimin's happy after she gets more than enough sleep..feeling happy so decided to go for a long run..then did tuck jumps for hope to increase elevation and did 200 situps..now i get the feeling about exercising making pple feel good and happy..and there are other things for huimin to be smiling about =)

match against ac tmr..really hope we win..get to leave class at 1 sth tmr..then when the match ends at 6 i gotta rush home to bathe and rush out again..band concert at 730 i think..heh cant wait to go esplanade again..my third time watching sth there..

a high huimin is a happy huimin~

i finally figured out whats wrong with my life these few days..i felt sth was missing and sth was wrong so i went on to search for the cause of worry..it always happens to me i think..not the first time already at least..i need more more time with my girlfriends..and all my other close friends..and not just devote all my time to one person or one area of my life..i need to spend my time in a more balanced way..anyway too much of sth sweet is no good..like how too much of chocs is bad for health..heh..i realised i have been missing out on alot of things..it seems like i can never really get the best of both worlds..and in my case, the best of many worlds..i can only do this-or-that..and never this-and-that..i need to learn..and get back my more happy life i had previously..so its learn to have this-and-that-and-that time..

havent been updating these few days.cos ive been reaching home super late almost everyday this week..earliest i reached home was like ten pm or sth..hmm..watched saturday night fever with von yesterday night and it was damn damn good..was nice meeting up with von after so long..and the musical was really superb..though i had to miss rj dance night.but definitely worth it la..

the dance was really so good..the latin dance was so pro..and the singing was damn good.the actors' voices were like super power..so nice watching the musical..just made you feel like you really wanna move and groove..it was really damn relaxing watching the musical..

we won sajc today..40-39.heart attack kind of game..was so happy when the final whistle went man..everyone cried cos of happiness and relief man..it was like that mere one goal..scaryy mann..

just realised it has been exactly one week from my last post.and i saw him everyday ever since last fri or sth..maybe its too much..yeah..maybe things should just chill..yeah like really..hai i dunno..things are complicating..maybe i just think too much..oh and it seems like ALL my close friends are getting their the other one..yeah..really ALL of them..

the person who seems to care less in a relationship is the one in real control of everything.

need to use this weekend to catch up on all the sleep i've missed..spent a long day with kenneth yesterday..he came near my house in the morning then we went to school together..and went for uber boring econs lecture..hmm, then we pooled at paradigm and there were like no souls there..haha.except those at the challenge table..we started a pool score sheet..its like 1-0 to him now..though i won twice outta three yesterday..cos we only started the scoring thing before the last game..

hmm then watched enter the phoenix..this hongkong show about homos and fighting..super crap and lame..stoned and walked around alot..met jue with bapok and joyce in taka..then we went to meet two other friends to bowl in cine..yay my second game was a draw with kenneth!!haha..107..then watched this jap fighting samurai show which was super funny..its like serious yet funny cos of alot of random shite..and there was this guy who was mentally slow or sth, who runs around the house half naked and shouting cos he is pretending to be a samurai..really full of shit..and theres like this guy who dresses up as a geisha from young..and looks alot like a girl..

then had dinner at cafe cartel at ps..we 5 people took like damn alot of cups for water and stacked them all up..think the pple were like pissed with us mann..

todays game against srjc..79-11..we were 20 off from njc score with them of 99-11..but well, we're the champs of our group and the new grouping after the draw today is acjc, sajc and mjc..we were all so happy that it was a good draw..hai played badly today, passes were super off, not lifting high enough and the high passes were not reaching..maybe it was the bowling..hai, was just damn off todayy..

went to meet ben audrey and christopher for lunch today..it was nice seeing audrey after so long..missed her like crapp..then after lunch, joel joined us and we went to pool at mambo..me and joel tied 1-1 today..haha..then came home immediately to sleep..had some disagreements with my grandma these few days..damn pissing off..

have been rather tired these few days.shagged shagged..trng today..and game on sat..gonna have to play the full game of 15min x 4..i really hope i can last..should be okay la.since its an easy match..

was feeling damn off in school today.hungry, tired, lack of sleep..everything la..better sleep earlier tonight to rest..

sheng ri kuai le BUD!

blue slipped with weixian, bud, ben ,charlene and bapok today.my first blue slip of the term!!

sometimes i wish the shite can just end.all of it has come a long long way..it started before even i was born..i thought i was immune to it all..the thing here is..i thought..but i guess im wrong, when things resurface again or when i start thinking about stuff, it hits me really hard..i wish they would just settle it once and for all..

work piling up like mad..im so dead..

had a nice nice day today.watched passion and played pool.passion was a good show..first time in a long time i cried while watching movie..but the way they slogged Him, the way He was ever so ready to forgive and the way He asked Father to forgive those who condemned him..haii..

at first got "bounced" for passion..borrowed bapok's id for kenneth to use but i didnt have..the auntie refused our entry again when we went again in later of the day..but finally got in when the auntie relented..hmm had fun walking up and down town and grocery shopping..havent had such fun in a long time..even pool was much more enjoyable today..was feeling very relaxed todayy..

[there is]

this vacation's useless
these white pills aren't kind
i've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
the days have come and gone
our lives when but so fast
i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
where i laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more

do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off pretend its all okay
that there someone out there who feels just like me
there is

those notes you wrote me
i've kept them all
i'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
with every single letter in every single word there
will be a hidden message about a boy that's
loves a girl
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off
pretend its all okay that there's someone out there
who feels just like me
there is

do you care if i don't know what to say?
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off
pretend its all okay that there's someone out there
who feels just like me

do you care if i don't know what to say?
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off
pretend its all okay that there's someone out there
who feels just like me
there is

watched midnight show with my two cousins and their boyfriends yesterday..into the mirror at 1150..took a short nap during the show..the show was quite good..generally better than usual korean horror flicks..it wasnt the usual gross and scary kind.there was actually a good plot and story behind it..

came back and we 5 started dissecting the movie plot like how we did to butterfly effect..talked and talked non stop..until i was really tired and i dozed off..they continued talking until four sth..i have the worst staying awake power amongst the five of us..

woke up at an amazingly early time today..gonna watch passion of christ later..hope it will be good..=)

won cjc 57-12 today.not a very good score, but since goal diff does not matter in a three-way tie.so owells..

posted up like 13 pictures.just some random old pictures..will post up more when i have time.will prob kop more pics from tiff's blog and all her pic galleries..quite shagged now..maybe going town with ec later..he wants to stone while i wanna play pool.hehh..

done up a new templete pretty quickly.stayed home all day today..slept and rested alot.hopefully i can go out tmr.watching passion of christ on sunday..they say its a good show..cant wait..match against cjc tmr.gotta wake up damn early but i cant get to sleep cos slept too much today..

watched two movies yesterday.prince and me and taking lives..prince and me was..sweet but too cheesy..taking lives was..not bad but cheap thrill..recommened?i guess la, though they are not must-watchs..

skipped pe and ben accoompanied me to town..listening to songs with him on the bus and ben is nice nice to talk to..i love ben! =)then went to order uni's cookie cake so that ben can help bring back to school..both of us met up with kenneth and then we walked around looking for a bag for ben..topman is how cool la..there are ps and internet services..and can play up till 30 min each time..how cool..

ben couldnt find a nice enough bag then he went back to school for trng..while me and kenneth went to buy tickets for prince and me and waited till ec came..nice ec bought me a super nice drink recommended by kenneth..but actually technically he only paid half of it..yepp.then ec went home after the show..while we two met up with bing, choonhwee and jy..

then we wasted alot alot alot of time during which other pple like hongyi joined us..walked around with displacement-zero walks and stoned around alot..then finally watched taking lives at 1145..was quite tired in the cinema but managed to stay awake cos kenneth kept tapping me head to make sure i was awake..hmm then stoned awhile somemore after the movie..

walked to somewhere near kenneth's house then took a cab home..was quite tired..and when i woke up this morning, i vomitted abit..dunno whats wrong also la, didnt even eat much yesterday..but yeah, im fine fine fine now..

joel: hey, im sorry.i dunno why i shud say that but well, the more impt thing now is..hopefully we can forget everything and everything starts anew again..i really hope you wont feel sad anymore..cheer up k?i hope everything can return to how things were before..and we can both treasure the friendship we have..

just a simple smile.thats all it takes to make my day.thats all it took to make me feel special and fall deeper into it..talk about walking into traps knowingly and willingly..

have been rather hardworking in lessons these few days.havent slacked for a loong time..today was bryan's birthday..so we the non-chinese-taking pple went to secret recipe to get a cake for him when they were having chinese..then crashed the last ten min of chinese and celebrated his birthday..had a small cake fight where me and tim smashed cake into bryan..and he complained i smashed into his ear..haha..oh no...

just got back from trng which was relatively slacker today..banged hard into juelin while defending centre pass today and the only really injured part is my thumb..got a blue black there..haha..

i really like the way how my class pple really cares for each other..its like real genuine care and concern..im getting quite sick of getting pushed around sometimes..i think pple should just totally forget about 'friends' who claim they care but acts otherwise..maybe its oversensitivity, but seriously, pple do get tired and sick sometimes you know?

have been blogging almost everyday..well, i like the class..its the first ever time i feel so relaxed with a class like that i think..the only thing is that pple in class need to mix around even more and know each other even more..well takes time i guess..at least at this point of time everyone is just fine and gets along with everyone else..so its still okayy..=)1e rockss.

im spending a hell lot of time with the class..alot alot..had our first pw session today..mrs lim aka terminator is hell scary..and damn funny at the same time..shes even weirder than HELLen tan..haha..speaking of which, i got caught by helen tan twice in tutorial for talking today all cos of kevin la!!and next lesson im supposed to sit right in front or sth..shite..

my pw group..[huimin, weixian, shane, bingwei, candy]..why is it that i always end up with weixian..its all cheng tju's doing..but we had alot of fun laughing at terminator today..daryl was totally red from laughing..

went to macs with classmates and hung around till quite late..talked alot alot..tried to dig things outta tim and bena but to no avail..me and kayhian have decided that now im the ultimate one who holds the key to all links and gossips..haha..and finally, everyone knows about camy liaoo..so i dun have to keep it to myself anymore..hehh..

trng tmr..the start of a week of consecutive trainings again..haii..

watched spartan today..didnt heed layming's advice..i should have..a stupid plot with stupid ending and no hot cast..and i was soooo freaking cold that my little fingers were numb..and kenneth just laughed at me..idiot..and after dinner at scotts we were checking out the fone shop..and he started playing football on the n-gage..and he scored quite easily.haha..pro..haha..he says hes gonna get it and be obssessed with it..

went back to old home today.i miss it so much..i miss my aunt whos as good as saying shes my mum..i really miss everything and my old life..i have tried to block out everything and tried not to feel anything about the whole episode..but when i talked to her today.i realised how much i miss everything..

sometimes i wish i can just have a normal average family..a real family..a complete one..it feels even more incomplete ever since i moved out..

i hate how i've changed to become so unfeeling and cynical..i used to be this nice girl who liked to cry over movies and silly tv shows..i used to like being the protected little one..and the one who likes to get daddy's attention and be the one he teased most constantly..i've lost the sentimental and soft side of me..

on a lighter note, somethings sweet going on..in school..=) i shant mention more..

42-27.yay we rock man!rjnetball rocks..everyone was so happy and high after the match..we're gonna be on a winning streak man..as puva says, we're a team to be reckoned with man..i thought meng, anna and jue played really well..

went home to bathe after the match..then took a really really long time before i came outta house again..met up with classmates kayhian and lai..and other people like kenneth mark wang and paul..played pool at hot shots..and the table really sucked..terribly..the balls cant even move in a vertical line..was quite sian cos of the lousy quality table so went down macs to eat with kenneth after awhile..yay he treated me to the four-dollar student meal..ahha..

then the rest of them joined us and we monkeyed around in macs for awhile..then we decided to go watch arsenal-man u fa cup at hongyi's house..but in the end cannot so we went lai's house instead..at frigging far kovan..had fun at his house and psy joined us also cos he lived damn near..then me and kenneth went home together and we were having our stupid biting competition..haha..ok more like i wanted to bite him..

oh we were sitting on the couch watching soccer..then all of us were being "lai"s and being ultra ultra lazy and stoned..we didnt even want to reach to take water and the super nice frozen strawberry thing..and the miracle thing was..only lai was the one moving around the most..haha..damn funnyy..

hai.got tons of work to do..siann

had two encounters with someone today..hehh..two in a day..usually in school its just stare at me..then i looked then we look for awhile then turn away and all that shite..haha..

trng turned out to be team talk and strategy talk..had pe today before trng..played badminton..fun fun..then after trng went to eat with the team at ghim moh..

irritating..how some pple are your good friends and nice and everything, but one certain sth about the person can make the friendship go bad so easily..and how some people can be so mean to you sometimes and expect you to be oh-so-willingly be there at their beck and call, and you actually really obey..

i dunno why but seem to have been mia in school these few days..im just always with my class..im forever with 1ao1e..as i told kayhian, i have been feeling alot for the class these few days..and lessons today were damn funny..when daryl was trying to kill the lizard..oh my god, we were really gonna get abs from laughing man..

its real trouble falling in love with someone you know you cant and should not fall in love with..like how you walk in willingly, even though you know its a trap..a real sticky trap..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EC!!

had trng at kallang today at 6pm..school was abit mad today, people being pms-y..after math, i was with tim in the classroom and matt really scared me..haha..well whatever it is, i hope matt is feeling better can liao..and all other guys in class who were feeling off..have been slacking alot less these few days..havent ponned a single thing and have been listening in class and doing my work in class..people please be proud of me..=}

went to town with classmates today and more of them joined us after chinese..stupid paradigm was frigging frigging full..waited so long but couldnt get a table..irritating cj people..im kinda itching to play pool..

luckily today only did one set of sprints then we requested to rest cos we have been trng everyday..saw juniors today after their match..they won rv 41-18 or sth..training again tmr..but just short training so its okay i guess..

we got punk'd by daryl today..he and firas bluffed that he was transferred to 1d and cant transfer back and all that shite..me and yonghui believed wholeheartedly and was kinda concerned and writing him notes during hist lect lor..bluff us somemore..shit..

there seems to be sth im searching for..but funny how i dunno what i am really searching for..lost?maybe..

classmates mentioned im more on the cynical side today..and funny how i came up with a explanation for being cynical so easily..when you get tired and drained out, you become cynical..how true?