i dont know what to say anymore, so i'll just do random recall of the dayy..

school, was bad. hai felt terrible at first, felt so inadequate. i dont know, its like, how many people know what what shit i feel inside. its not like i mean people should know, its just, i dont know how to really be happy anymore. im trying, im tryingg..

well, left classes to go for cheer. something to keep me occupied until ohana is over. cheer was, well alright, we all still could remember our old routine. and chuin was being high at times, that silly girl. it was nice hanging out with the cheer people too.

ohhh. like most medfacs got back their papers already. while we poor arts students only got back math and maybe econs mcq. bleahh, at long last, im not at the bottom for econs, but well, even if its only mcq. but even helen tan praised me.. and when helen tan praises me, you know something is not right. haha, but math..haha oh well, i never predicted i'll pass anywayy.

poor kevin got niao-ed like madd today, by helen tan and like terminator.. ahh poor guy..hmm so anyway, after cheer and the full rehearsal crap, me, jue and anna wanted to play ball. haha like the good ol' times. so was shooting for awhile with anna then juelin joined us. haha, wanted to do stuff more interesting than shooting and more constructive, so we were playing some "game", haha me and nah against jue. =) hai hanging out with you two like last time. read jue's blog, and thought about all those times. when it was just three of us, and the only things we'd worry about is netball. and we hung out so much, when things were so much more fun.

yepp, then tombang bapok's cab to jelita there, yeah and like what juelin said, it feels so cool as we walked to jelita there. while we were talking about our shadows. haha, it feels like...us. yeah i guess only nah and jue would know what im talking about.

hai, i wanna be able to have fun like i used to. but i cant even do anything properly nowadays. i dont know, life seems so much more cruel now. and its so real. so damn real.

i dont want to be some self absorbed person in depression. cos thats what depressed people are, so self centred and sefl absorbed that they only think about themselves and thus get depressed. thats damn damn true and i only realised it after reading fiona xie's report about herself being depressed and all. shit ugly things happen, but i will walk out of it and get over it and be even stronger.

thanks friends. to all those who i know are there for me. yeah and for your prayers too. i dont know how i'd even handle it without my friends.