when shit happens, what i really need is someone to take care of me. i have friends who think im strong because i've gone through much more than many of my age, but actually i just want someone who loves me and is willing to guide me. i may seem to be quite an independent person, but actually what i want is someone to take care of me.

sometimes i just dont want to think anymore, i just dont want to keep being troubled over things. i hate all this complicated shitty and irritating things, i dont wanna think anymore you know. sometimes i wish you would do that for me, take care of me and make sure things are alright. i hate all of this, i want to stop thinking and throw all these shit away. i wish i had someone to help me eat up all these shit, weren't you supposed to be the one eating up all my rubbish? i dont wanna cry anymore, i dont wanna be upset anymore, i dont wanna think anymore. but i cant.

hist lect was spent with juelin again. i should do it more often. was s'posed to watch some video, but i have no idea what the heck is going on cos the whole lecture time was spent reminiscing about good ol' rgs days.

banana lim trainings. the countless teacher i/cs of netball. our first spe in sec one. sec two netball season. the weird batch of seniors. the zai and chiong batch of seniors. all the netball camps. tortured sec three year and then our final season. all the time we spent at netball bench and in taka square. EAT SLEEP DREAM NETBALL when netball was on our minds 24/7.

408! lulu lee and her i hope you dance. hairhing over michelle wong and wu shuyan. all our spastic 4/8 notorious and spastic classmates. mr chee and joyce's "your balls drop already". mrs mak and number yourselves 1 to 6 and bringing her daughter to ballet thus not being able to make it for lesson. sandhya and her stupid devon aoki crap.

all these shit made me and juelin die laughing in the lecture theatre while everyone watched the videa. we had to do our silent laughter to mask the noise. haha.. then when we came out, anna and glenda walked past and we three, jue nah and me, had our group hug =) i miss you two sillys. really really. i realli wish i could have RGSnetball back. as me and juelin were saying, things are different now in jc.

all the tears i cried for rgsnetball. the great great legacy we had to uphold. its even quite weird to speak of it now. the teras we cried becos of we suffered as a team and we felt we were treated like thrash. all those fighting and hard work we did when sometimes the returns werent reaped. and the tears for anna sometimes cos of bullying by certain someone. the tears we cried when we won the really close matches. the most ever tears when we cried when our last season ended, when the tears seemed like they will never ever stop. the tears we cried when we felt so damn shit being the rgs batch which was despised. the tears we cried when we realised that was the last match we were going to play together was this stupid unfair match.

netball meant so so so much to me. it was my life. but things are much different now.

netball taught me how to be a good leader and captain. netball taught me responsibilty. netball showed me what real hard work and determination meant. netball taught me to be a better and greater person. netball to us, was not merely a love for a sport. netball gave me true real friends. netball brought me to anna and juelin. netball taught me how to love.

okayy all that about the netball. haha i wonder how many of my now friends think im stupid and crap now. i guess the rgs me and the now me is d i f f e r e n t. we've all changed. for the better or worse i dont know.

well, today was a good day at sch. nice nice =) started off nice cos off history lecture. well, everything just fell into place nicely i guess =)

i like the way your lips feel on mine. i like the way your arms wrap around me. i like the way you talk to me about forever. i love the way you love me.

heh just went running. not bad i still can sustain even though i never run so so long.hmm i wanna try like adhering to the bloodtype diet thingy whilst trying to eat many small meals instead of 3 full meals, well, for me i eat mostly two full meals. but there's always so much nice and tempting full meals outside..

yay after common tests feel good. =) but theres still more common tests and more prelims and a levels. sian diaoo..

ohh..haha its damn fun using bluetooth to transfer stuff into my new nice baby, 6230. yay yay..

jue: i was just reading your blog archives. realised how everything we talked about in our blog last time was training and more training and a certain someone wrt training. shit, i miss you and anna toh. that four years of working hard together and playing hard.

you don't know what it's like to love somebody the way i love you

heh.have been playing a crappy game called beach life, which is like the sims theme park, cept its building a resort at the beach. and there are bikini babes. haha

and watched just married and the notebook on vcds..heh gonna watch confessions of a teengage drama queen.

3 months and countingg..

bah i need to start doing the things i ought to do -_-

Noah (to Allie): "If you're a bird, I'm a bird."

Noah (to Allie): "I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day."

Duke (to older Allie): "I think our love can do anything we want it to."

haha quotes from the movie Notebook. its really one of my favourite show, people who havent watched, its a must watch. haha nice show cos its damn sweet..

i want all of you, forever, you and me, everyday

yay got my long awaited new phone. nokie 6230. the nice plain phone with almost everything: camera, mp3 player, bluetooth, video. yay..

anyway everyone pls update your phonebook alright? new number: 8100 3635. im truly sorry for the inconvenience, all previous numbers not in use anymore okayy?

yayyy. 3 days of agony over =)

now 4 days of holiday =)

anyway, yes as predicted sure die for common tests le.its just how horrible my death will be..hahah

but heck..time to partyyy..

its nice to know that someone you love in this world loves you so damn much, but its scarier to know that this love may not be yours forever.

i like discovering more about myself and my personality. but sometimes it is scary to think about things too much.

from the mid of last year till now, i have been wanting to spend less time in a social group and wanting more time to myself and those closer to me. i know all along im an extrovert and i can make friends super easily. but recently, i have been finding it harder and harder to keep close friends and i am losing more and more faith in all that talk about frienship. its not that i dont believe in friends, i do. i love many of my friends, and i know i have friends who care so damn much about me.

but i dont know why, i've been wanting time to myself and to very few whom im close to. then i feel more and more detached from my friends and social life. haiya dont know, been feeling like this alot from middle of last year. i wonder if anyone ever felt the same.

maybe its the transition from being very active in the social circle, so as to speak, to now, being dormant? haha.

sometimes reading the updates on my friends' lives make me realise how damn detached i am. and how damn much i miss some of them. and makes me wonder why is all these happening. it feels as if i have become a coward.

i cant decide if i have merely changed or maybe i have been like that all along. i cant decide if maybe im just feeling more settled than last time or whether this is good or bad.

and i miss netball. argh crap. stupid xian that time still can purposely ask me whether i wanna go back to netball and whether i miss netball or not.

and now i hate it that i cant go train regularly for archery. i've been trying to study but its so damn hard. argh. and firstly, i know that trng doesnt take up that much time and i would still have time to study but the thing is 1) i hang around after trng 2) i will ache and sometimes it makes it very hard to concentrate and i sometime throw tantrums 3) i make excuses for myself not to study. i know its possible to balance both, but its been very hard to concentrate and study. argh. i enjoy training and i know that if i train more i can achieve much more than i do now. argh i dont know what to do.

crap. i sound like a damn lame person. sometimes its so hard to put things in words, i guess thats why some people give up and just keep things to themselves. theres always the risk of people misinterpreting your words and form a certain wrong judgement about you.

ok so much random things said. and i think people who reads blog are prob tired of hearing this, but i wanna assure that its entirely and totally true for me, even though im a RJ student, who are all well-known for complaining they didnt study and scoring 4As at the same time: im doomed for common tests.


father father father help us. send some guidance from above

went to send my cousin's boyfriend off at the airport todayy. he's going off to myanmar for work for 1 whole month.. wahh dont know how my cousin going to survive man. so damn llongg..anyway my cousin and bf are 23 years old and theyve been together for nearly 6 years.. from sec school till now..

6 years is so damn long you knoww..i always find it amazing that some people can maintain the relationship for so long, maybe i guess im not matured enough yett. so far the longest relationship i had was for about a year, and well, could say it ended in a tragedy. not like tragedy where people die and get sick and stuff, but well, just a tragedy i guess..

yeahh its really quite cool la, being together for 6 yearss..i guess it takes alot of effort to be able to maintain that love for so long, and be tolerable and accepting towards each other for so long. start of relationship is always the easiest, where everything just falls into place..then after that "honeymoon" period, people start seeing the flaws in their other half and realise life isnt a bed of roses after all. this is when some couples just simply give up, while the others who truly love and appreciate each other will continue to love in spite of the flaws and imperfections they see.

well, i guess then the two persons' lifestyles start to integrate and its feels good being able to rely on someone else in your life. this can only happenn if the two people truly accept each other and have even start to think about the future together or maybe just thinking that the other party will continue to exist in his/her own future. then there's this reliance and dependence that's nice and cool. you never ever thought there would be someone you can trust so much.

well, things go on and the couple has to keep that spark of love alive in the relationship. no one should ever take the other for granted. give little small surprises and never forget those promises you make. tell each other you love them time to time, let each other know you truly care. don't ever think "since we've been together for awhile, i don't need to make so much effort anymore, things will naturally fall into place." true enough, things will. but i guess this is the time people start to have doubts and sometimes think alot, "is he/she the one i want to spend my life with?", "does she/he really love me for who i am?" insecurities set in, and sometimes get better of one's rational mind. sometimes one person might do or ask some ridiculous things that you may think is so foolish or childish. but little things make the big difference. everyone needs the re-assurance now and then, no one is ever so sure of him/herself.

well, there's so so much involved to maintain a relationship. you need to give and take, respect each other, learn to sacrifice, be tactful and sensitive, be caring loving sweet romantic, communicate effectively and sensibly etc etc etc.. but not everyone is born well-versed and pro in such stuff, people have to learn and be taught. so i feel that the most importantly ultimately, is how bad you want it. how bad you want that special someone to stay forever. how much you truly care for that person. cos anything can be learnt, all problems can be solved, all character differences can be overcome, if you truly want it. and truly want it TOGETHER.


heh damn sweet right? this was candid la, not posed for.

go and study huimin!!!!

hmm i think hon wants to kill me alraedyy. and all those who have been waiting for pictures. haha ok..er the newest album has pictures of dinner with hon&laa, class learning journey to sentosa, firas' birthday celebration(s) and my great grandma's bday dinner. ok very messy but i cant be bothered ok to make nice nice and make captions. sorryy

http://share.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=EeAMnDRuzaMWzDdg&notag=1

havent been blogging. haha too lazyy..things have been alright. heh must study more cos cts coming..sianded you knowww..

went to the it fair at suntec with him. wah lauu packed like madd..and walked like siao until feet damn pain..watched lemony snicket: a series of unfortunate events alreadyy..its quite cute and i think sonny is super damn hilarious and cute.

have a good one-week holiday everyone =)

my desktop monitor just died on me. its damn irritating! argh just when i needed that nice new version of powerpoint i have on my desktop to do the ppt for calvin, it died on me. gg -_-

ken: hey be strong like how you taught me too ok? you were there for me when things were the darkest, i really hope you'll get through all these fine and well too..take care and be well..

yay im meeting my two lovelys, hon and laa this friday..hopefully can materialise..if laa can ill get becky and brenda too..it has mostly been just me and hon..

dont really feel like blogging anymoreee.. sian diaoooooooo..