didnt sleep at all yesterday. went straight to school for temasek seminar after staying up all night to talk and did abit of stuff of lit board and gp.bleah i slept once the speakers start delivering their speeches. like i just woke up to clap then the next speaker starts then i go to sleep again.haha.was really sleepy.

was so glad to get back to school.lit day.was quite hilarious some stuff.black ram tupping white ewe. harry potter. caretaker.woman warrior.and our very own, witch and the boy who turned into a mouse.keith looked damn funny and cute in the dress and heels.and daryl was damn good, being such a good sport and going ahead with it. damn damn funny. thanks daryl and keith!

archery clinic after lit day events. response was quite good. hmm rest of the day went quite shitty.. shant talk about it..

i never cried this much for a long time. its just tears uncontrollably and the inside hurt burning so painfully. im not some depressed girl, but it hurts.damn it hurts damn bad now.

ive heard so much that im so tired.and all i want now is for you to be ok and get on with your life properly. now i cant stop crying not cos im sad things are over or that we cant even be friends. im hurting so so much cos now i know how much ive affected you and how much i have fucked up your life. and all i want, all i ask for is just for you to be okay.

i dont even know what to feel now.it feels..numb. and i dont even know how to look at our relationship now. how did it even turn out this way? but to me, all else doesnt matter anymore, i just want you to be okay again.

camy: dear girl. im sorry. and its not your fault.ive never blamed you. we wouldnt have worked out anyway. things have been tough for me, and you guys have all made it alot better.abandon that uneccesary guilt you're feeling ok? even if that didnt happen, things would have turned out the same like now. what was not meant to be is not meant to be. you be alright k?

i just want this to stop. i cant even think what i feel now. i just want you to get better and me to stop hurting. im not depressed ok, ive gotten over things pretty damn fast already

yay finally finished settling pw stuff yesterday..heh studied in canteen after sch yesterday while waiting for cheer to start.was with lynette bena and firas..hmm yeah me and lynette came up wtih the theory that men lack the maintain-relationship mechanism in them. i shall name it the MRM..yeah basically guys lack MRM while the girls have it, thus girls get hurt and all, cos they try all they can when sth goes wrong in a relationship while the guys just say ive had enough and i dont think i feel the same towards her anymore and give up. lack of MRM..

hmm was so so sleepy in econs today.fell asleep without meaning to. cos usually, i do intend to sleep so thats diff.but i wanted to listen in econs today, but i didnt even know i fell asleep.haha..hmm then went went trng at ppcc..damn ken put me on a clicker today.my first experience with a clicker definitely not a very good one..more bruises cos i overstretch my bow arm so as to rotate more..bleahh its so tiring can just diee..bleah means must train alot more..

hmm red's birthday tmr so we went to marche at suntec to eat to celebrate.me, bing, red, ken, monica, kenneth..had a damn damn full meal..all my days of dieting gone to waste.damn. hmm bill came up to like 178 or sth..shit ate damn alot..then still went to pacific coffee for drinks and dessert.hmm nice =) bleah i need more sleep but considering ive been reaching home so late each day..

blood donation today.quite fun.wanted the pink band, but they only had the green one left when i donated. not much pain at all..oh yeah managed to convince joel louis to donate blood.yay i did double good deed.

no cheer prac today, supposed to take measurement for costume but in the end cancelled.went ppcc to shoot today.by the end of shooting, i was feeling damn overwhelmed and stressed out. and even screwed up shooting at the end, like everything just went wrong.

and just today when everything seemed wrong and too overwhelming to take, i suddenly realised. how things would be different if some things hadnt ended and someone didnt leave. kinda first time i wished very badly, that things have had taken a change and didnt end up like this.. cos realised how i would be feeling much happier and better last time. and suddenly realising that didnt help things much at all. hmm funny how someone can make you feel better and make your day without even trying to.
 
 

loong day today.went to cedar quite early to support at the ppcc shoot today.was quite fun hanging around.haha it was like to see how archery comps are like, so can get prepared for the next comp im taking part in.hmm then went back to ppcc in hong's car, had to sit on ken again cos too many pple again. bleahh then took damn long to overcome the inertia in me, then finally moved and uncle lim, whos hong's driver, drove them to town and me to sch.climbed sch gates to get in for cheerleading though was uber late today. had practise with most of the guys down, hmm and the girls dance part kinda settled except for the un-cheoreographed stuff. practised some stunts today too.. bleah next week's intensive trng, and the comp may be postponed to aug11 instead of aug2..which may be a good thing and bad thing all at once.good cos we really need more time to practise the stunts and stuff.bad cos i cant start archery intense again.

hmm went back to ppcc to shoot after cheer prac. been improving under ken's coaching.and mr wee was being nice and encouraging today..nice old man =) taught me lots of stuff too..bahh bing and ken's goal for me is to be a lady's champ by next year, after i get my metal bow..and everyone, esp rad keeps pushing me to get metal bow!! arghh, but its damn frigging ex and i really need to save..but i seriously should start making plans for upgrading already la..everyone's telling me to =(

hmm whos pong song and oei r gey on my tagboardd? belah why do pple like to come up with some crap names? bleahh damn tired.shoulders esp..hopefully i can wake up tmr morning..

gonna sleep right  after this. pple im perfectly okay already yeah.so people like khor should stop thinking im depressed..wth, im not even close to depression.it was just that well, last week was .. er bad..yyea..

slept alot alot alot today.and sleeping's good and nice. but now i cant seem to be tired and sleepy.haha..gotta wake up at like 6 tmr, going to cedar to support bing and ken etc at the pp shoot tmr..then gotta rush down to sch at 130pm for cheer prac.bah gotta climb the gates cos its a sunday..

hmm just had a nice talk with chris ho. well, made him listen to my ramblings non stop..and him telling me some stuff too. hope we are both okay =)

bah dont think bing will read this before tmr but still.. forget today and smile alrighty?shit happens but you're one strong dude =)

bah my upper abs are hurting so so badly. its a weird kind of ache and i suspect its from that stunt we attempted that day..been rubbing deep heat damn often but it still hurts like shit.cant even get up from the lying down position without hurting.ouch.

haha my grandma's talking to the lizards. haha like scolding them and telling them how they will be all deadmeat cos we are getting new stuff for the kitchen so their hideouts would be found out soon.hahah funny stuff..

dont leave me alone, alone with silent moments that allow my mind to wander. dont give it the chance and the time to think freely. cos my mind wanders and then rests on the same old recurring stuff. [the first times] the first time we met, the first time we held hands, the first time we really looked into each others eyes, the first kiss we had. pretty much over you and pretty much over things between us, but memories haunt endlessly. not cause i miss you so, or i want you back. but cause fond memories would come back to me, no matter what happens. the times when i know i have someone i can totally rely on, someone who can instantly bring a smile to my face without even trying to. the times i spent thinking about what i can do for you and the times i spent daydreaming about you. the touch of your hand, the tricks you play on me, the nights we spent together, the last kiss we had even after we broke up, the times we simply just hang out enjoying each other's presence, the movies we watched together, the countless times we sat on each other =). such beautiful memories flood my mind which somehow become memories which are hurting.hurts to recall them and realise the one whom i used to be close to isnt there anymore. you never physically walked away, but i can picture your back, becoming smaller and smaller as you walk away from me. i dont want us to get together again, but such memories do hurt.but thanks for them anyway. i dont expect things to be much much better cos we cant exactly be close without feeling something for each other. we've tried to maintain that, which only led to a disaster. but anyhow, i still love you, like how a friend would love another..i'll pray everynight, for God to keep you safe and happy, and that one day, we can smile and play with each other comfortably and rubbishly sit on each other, knowing in our hearts that we're just normal good friends who care for each other..

bleah that sounds so emotionally tacky and rubbish. argh just had to get things out at the moment, and even though its only directed at one person..bahh, nvm..sorry for my ramblingg..sch today was alright, bing and i blue slipped during pw. then went down to pp to eat and went to cedar to shoot in mr tang's car..didnt get to shoot much today, went back to eat at pp then went hong's house then to dm to get hong's arrows fletched.. bleah 4 people in hong's car backseat equals huimin must sacrifice. had to sit on ken but at least his quads are super super strong. my full weight throughout the long journey from pp to hong's house then to dm again and his legs are perfectly fine..salute salute..hmm came home and practised routine, can remember the whole routine better now.finally got chance to prac at home..hmm oh it was my aunt's birthday today, got home in time just to see them cutting the cake and distributing..my timing is damn good.second time exactly the same situation..haha..rocks.. bahh was supposed to meet laa and hon for dinner date tonight but hon had emergency cropped up..bleahh.miss those two girls to bits..

heh in the library again.bleahh damn damn sleepyy..supposed to be doing pw now.damn siann. hmm yesterday was a quite packed day.sch in the morning.then went to bukit timah plaza mambo to pool after maths lect..hmm its a good place to pool, plus they kinda allow sch u cos you just gotta wear your pe uniform inside out..and its 5 bucks per hours apparently..hmm then came back to sch for cheerleading prac..first we tried to do this stunt that ling suggested..it was like being lifted up by two girls while in a push up position.with one base in front and one at the legs..it looks easy but was damn damn hard..needed alot of arm and abs power..bleahh..kinda dangerous for the back also..cos my back was aching from the arching of the back..then bernise tried to do also, but it was damn hard cos we all really needed to train up first..

hmm then listened to the music and then ran through the dance steps again..hmm the routine is more or less okay la..oh we also practised the elevator, which was basically two guys lifting the girl up..it was damn damn fun..was abit scared at first..but kinda got the hang of it..then we managed one quite successful one with me on top, ec and allen poon lifting..shit i feel damn bad for using people as bases..hmm, then took a mrt to pp..when i arrived, they dragged me to go have dinner..bleahh didnt really intend to eat cos not much time to shoot alreadyy..well got to shoot a few ends in the end..shooting not bad now..can get not bad grouping..hmm then reached home damn damn shagged..couldnt plonk myself off the bed this morning mann..

heh in the library with tiff and chuin now.racial harmony day today..my bright yellow kimono that lynette lent me..heh not many pple dressed up..heh except like the 1d girls..took damn alot of pictures with them..haha marns damn hott!! hahah..me and tiff gonna turn les and crush her..haha..

ponned econs cos really no mood.hmm but racial harmony day in rgs was much more fun..like everyone really dressed up and everything..hmm shall post some pictures taken today when they have posted them up..cheerleading prac then archery then watching irobots tonight..yep yepp..tiring tiringg dayy..

i really love my load of friends alot alot alot.today has been made peachy cos of a whole horde of people who made my day. heart you guys truckloads =) you mean all alot to me.
 
i was really really touched. first it was mr lim who asked about how i was out of concern and him giving me a card with nice encouraging words.his exact words: Huimin. Cheer up. Everything will be alright. All the best. Mr Lim.. then my classmates with the big big card they got everyone to sign, with many many nice touching messages for me. everything's much more beautiful with these people i have. im really damn glad and thankful to God for giving me all my friends and all those who care admist all the rough patches i gotta go thru..
 
hmm thanks mr lim. and thanks alot alot pri sch bestfren lynette.class people: camy!!!, bena, yonghui, nicole, candy, bing, lai, weixian, kevin,mike, tim, kayhian,  eman, firas, daryl,  keith, eugene, ben. my darling friends: tiff, chuin, uni, marns, clara, grace, ec, shane.and thanks to ken who has been trying very hard to cheer me up. you guys all rock.
 
well, you guys cared even some of you didnt know what happened.well, too many bad stuff have happened, and sometimes i dont even know where to begin.sch, him, family..there are some things ive told you guys and maybe some things that i havent told anyone.but im trying my best to be alright and be all smiley again.
 
 

heh woke up late today and was feeling so bum and lazy thus got to aas range at about 3..haha. bing and ken kept complaining im a bum to reach there so late.didnt get to shoot much today cos i did something so loser i could just die..i fletched my arrows using wrong glue and thus i had to shoot with bare shafts arrows..damn damn damn..got laughed at by all of them =(
 
heh yep so shot for awhile then we went back to ppcc to eat macs. 20 pcs nuggets for five bucks.they bought 40 pcs.hahaah..and beancurd with peanut dumplings.i got jacked with one dumpling that has no peanut inside.haha..was damn funny..yepp then me ken bing went to mr wee's house cos ken had to purchase new arrows..which cost like 400bucks or sth..goshh..then mrt down to plaza sing, hmm was rushing to watch a supposedly 7pm show.but our dear smart ken screwed up and ordered tickets for wed instead cos irobots werent open yet..good job mann.hahaha..
 
heh then we three ate at pastamania..yay ken treated me to pasta and movie, hmm while i treated them to cookies and pool..yeah went to paradigm to pool..so long havent been there ever since they disallowed sch uniforms..it was damn fun playing with them..oh mann..my last shot of 9ball pool with bing was so shen..a damn nice bank shot..bahh then came home in a cab with bing and then refletched my arrows..oh me and bing decided that our cab rides together are our precious talking and chatting times..heh =)
 
it was quite queer today, how i suddenly decided i dont really believe in marriage in the mrt today when i was alone.i just suddenly got that notion into my head..its like, i suddenly found the idea of staying with one person forever and ever wrong and impossible.maybe its cos ive seen how feelings for someone you once supposedly love or really enjoy being with can change so so so easily..how even how those feelings may be so so strong to you, but in actualy fact, your mind is the one trying so hard to maintain those feelings cos you force yourself to..hmm i wonder if anyone really know what i mean.like me and laura were talking on msn, talking about such so called love troubles we have and how they can really be troublesome..but somehow now i feel, if such things like being together and breaking up can be seen so lightly by the guys, we the girls shouldnt torment ourselves so much emotionally.. but well, i do believe in liking someone so much that no matter what happens, that liking for him will almost never change..it might subside abit, buts its always lingering there..and to me, theres only one person..hmm okay maybe two..and ive never gotten together with these two pple, maybe close enough but never really had a proper start..but still, i feel that being together and staying together is really a hard thing. it requires damn alot of trust and communication and the ultimate strongest feeling that "together, we will make this work no matter what happens". and that is sth that is really damn rare..
 
bahh, i also realised today how its so easy to realise some traits in other or some things that pple do secretly, cos you yourself have done it before..like how i can realise how this person like this someone cos of the way he/she talkes about that person, or how much and how the person talks about him/her..i know how its like cos i do it too..and how some people pretend to know things they dont know in a harmless way, cos i very well some friends who do it too..
 
hmm i had a great great urge to talk to lynette  after i read her blog. i wanna tell her not to be so silly. and not to let life become grey from pining and waiting..you're made for much more and you deserve much better. hai maybe you feel differently and maybe im wrong, buti dunno, i just felt a surge of sadness for you. darling girl, you dont have to take this path cos you deserve much more than having to do this..
 
 

this time its for real..everything's gonna end and this time is for real..cos this time, all feelings in my heart are gone..well, im sorry for today..i was just hurt, cos its cruel of you to give me hope then destroy it right after that.. but i dont want things to turn out like the way it has. its stupid for us to feel this unnecessary bad feelings about each other, we should continue being good friends, no less no more. but well, for now, i can truly say things have died..
 
laura: you're seriously damn cute..haha retarded laura!!! heh actually i wished i knew you better, can tell youre a real fun and good friend to have =) yeah its damn stupid, 4 of the guys are the ruggers from my class.. cheerleading's gonna be so hard cos of those retarded pigss..
 
haha shes such a darling girl =) hmm watched king arthur today, unhappy bad things happened, but im feeling okay and i just hope that things will blow over soon and things will turn out fine in the end.bleahh, why do all the bad things happen all at one time..but huimin's gonna be an okay girl..dont wanna all my friends to worry about me and having them to see me down all the time..haha sorry that tears this week is like collectively more than a few months added together..but well, might as well channel my energy to other stuff, like shooting and working how to lose weight for cheerleading and eat right for enough energy for shooting at the same time..oh me and bing have got a bet with kayhian about his weight loss..a HUGE bet of $75 bucks each..and if kayhian loses, he'll be paying for my bow equipment..haha, technically he cant win according to my calculations..hahah =)

[Don't Wanna Think About You]

 

Can you leave me here alone now

I don't wanna hear you say

That you know me

That I should be

Always doin what you say

Cuz I'm tryin to get through today

And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you

Think about me

Don't wanna figure this out

I Don't wanna think about you

Or think about nothin

Don't wanna talk this one out

I won't let you bring me down

Cuz I knowI don't wanna think about you

Don't wanna think about you

When I wake up here tomorrow

Things will never be the same

Cuz I won't wait

Cuz you won't change

And you'll always be this way

Now I'm gonna get through today

And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you

Think about me

Don't wanna figure this out

I don't wanna think about you

Or think about nothin

Don't wanna talk this one out

This time I won't let you bring me down

Won't let you shut me out

This time I knowI don't wanna think about you

 
yay finally got to sleep in late today.yay blogger now more user friendly. hopefully can go watch irobots later.with bing and ken and maybe more pple..bahh i need to lose weight!! really need to lose weight liao.for cheerleading also..
 

well as you can see from previous blog entries, i spent my whole morning and early afternoon in the library with my kok friends..trying to get the pw stuff done.hmm then went for a few tutorials and pw and pe..played netball during pe.yeah and talked to ms tan after pe..well i shant talk about talking to ms tan since i have nothing good or nice to say about it.
 
shooting today was alright.yay ken got me new arrows..platinum plus..dunno if i should buy from him or not..hopefully i can sell my arrows to eman's friend..my pretty pink and purple fletches  cartel ones..shooting was quite good but i only had ken to crap with today.bing went for some concert thingy and hong was went for looong dinner with tingyue they all..hmm so today was the all recurve day..
 
ken taught me hhow to fletch my arrows so i gotta do them tmr..oh, chongs asked me to go for cheerleading tryouts cos apparently they needed smaller girls. heh yep got thru the tryouts so now im a arts fac cheerleader..heh along with darling chuinnie. and 4 outta 8 guy cheerleaders are from my class..like wth? firas kevin daryl and keith..damn funny shite la..yepp so 1e has 5 cheerleaders.haha..
 
i wanna watch mean girls.and king arthur.and bloodbrothers..haii..

[Lai]: bwahahahahahaaa!!! she can't stop us now bing, now that she has NO HANDS!! muaahahahaha!! bwahahahahaha!! ahahahahaha!! ahahahahahahahahahaa!!!! *zzzzz*
 
bing: welcome to my blog! i'm stoning in the library now, after skipping econs lect, and watching lai... erm yeah, watching lai do... erm like stuff to like people who don't really need their hands.
so, i think i'll ask people to guest blog! i'd ask huimin, but she can't really type now, cos SHE AINT GOT NO HANDS!!. and when she sits down, she can't get up, COS SHE AINT GOT NO HANDS!! and she'll try to do pushups, only she can go down, but can't come up, COS SHE AINT GOT NO HANDS!! anyways, supposed to do PW stuff now, but very obviously distracted. 5 minutes to maths lect.. i think i'll skip that too! whee, 6 periods of break, right till... break aww yeah
 
oh did you hear? huimin prolly has to go hospital. COS SHE AINT GOT NO HANDS!!
 
seeya

bahh in the sch library now.with bing lai eman and candy. supposed to be doing pw stuff, haha fabricatin all the minutes of meetings and all that shite..hai stupid 510 fridays..okay let me get lai to guestblog..
 
lai: waaaaadddd........ zzzzz...
 
oh man lai sucks..ill get bing to guestblog..
 
bing: go find paper! for printing! do your PW! but why do i have to guest blog???? i don't really wanna. and what the hell is guest bloggin!! i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!...
 
huimin so crazy! so crazy! so crazy! like beans and pie! i like pie.. don't you like pie? mm beans wait, she's trying to make me stop, but i don't want! i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!
 
go away! don't disturb me while i'm guest blogging!! its my dutttyyyyy you can't make me stooooppppppppp i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!i don't want!!!
 
i'm not done yet~ i will singlehandedly post the longest blog entry in this blog. i have to set a record. i have to live up to my potential or commit hara kiri to pr eserve my family honor..
 
huimin is beating me again!! i don't want! make her stop!! such a st00p n00b she is, even though i didn't call her that. of course i'm not done. you made me guest blog, now you can't stop mee! i will take over this blog.
 
THIS IS A PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT SERVICE: THIS BLOG NOW BELONGS TO BING! TO READ A RECORD OF MY DAILY LIFE, COME TO THIS BLOG! hahaha. i don't want!! and if you delete any of this, i'm going to go "in search of WMDs" as a "legimate security reason" to "liberate" your blog. this is a matter of homeland security. ensure that all of what i just said gets posted.
 
 
[huimin] my friends need help.

it hurts so so so much. in the morning, when i heard the news from her, it was like a stab.. a real hard stab. shattered, stabbed right where it really hurts.. it was the first ever time i felt this way. it wasnt the worst, but it was bad in a diff way i never felt before. i know im a weakling at such things, but im just too soft to just let things unleashed just like that. i cant, cant bring myself to..i know, weakling me. its like this part of me keep wanting to keep him the benefit of doubt.to tell myself he didnt actually mean it. but if you think rationally, whether or not he meant it or not doesnt actually matter, it already hurts that much anyhow.. ouch.. how dumb can i get. he doesnt even know it. but i suffer silently, not literally silently. but he doesnt even know. so why bother? but huimin's a dumb ass.

to hell with all of that. i know if i try hard enough, ill be able to cleanse my mind off such shite which arent even worth it.. if i force myself hard enough, i might hopefully be able to heck everything. what for suffer? to hell with all of that..

hmmm hai just gimme some time pple.thanks for putting up with my gloominess in class, and reciprocating with all the care ive got from you guys.all my really nice classmates.bing thanks for the mars and the hazelnut choc. the nice surprises youve left in my bag to cheer me up and give me energy. it all really means alot to me. im sorry ive been down and all these few days. thanks for being there for me..

hahah had a nice talk wtih firas about his attitude before pe.hilarious stuff..hmm went to pool at mambo with inverted pe shirts with chris ho and lai after pe today.haha..the cues and the table was so so so smooth and perfect that me and lai played so screwedly..haha..but they are nice fun friends to hang out with..oh then me and chris were recalling the first time we met.and how i thought he looked damn violent with his black poser jacket.haha he admitted he was feeling pissed off that day.hahahah..but chris's so nice.bwahaha..mrt with lai and went down to pp to shoot.

shooting was good today though i reached quite late. ken ang found out i didnt eat today except for that one mars bar so he was bitching at me like mad. he's like, "as your trainer, i must ensure you have a proper diet blah blah blah.." haha..aww yeah ken rocks. but hes forcing me to eat more so i can train properly. but yeah he rocks, buying arrows to lend to me cos my arrows are more for beginners and for trng.. heh hes been helping me alot and damn damn fun to crap with. haha i can even talk to him about serious stuff, haha like when we went to draw money..yay my dog trainer aka ken rocks..

may things get better soon.really soon, if not i might just not be able to take it and break down.but still, i pray that things get better soon.

oh yeah! esther and me are new found friends.haha.she added me on friendster and we realised we were pri sch classmates.ok more like i rmb cos shes still so blur as ever.haha..nice to "refind" a friend. =) haha plus shes somehow connected to my other friends too, laura, weixian, tiff..

swim finals today. yay weixian won his silver and tiff won her bronze. didnt stay around to watch the relays though. met alot of people. u-nice, havent seen her for sooo long. oh shes like wx's good friend,my old friend..met sandhya too!! that girl's such a darling and so chio with her straight hair and ac uniform.

hmm they kept saying i looked depressed today. hai no la, i was just really tired and thinking about stuff. thanks for asking anyway pple =) argh bena!! you need to tell me stuff and let those things youve been bursting to say out!!!

bing: heya thanks for all your concern alrighty? hmm think you're a great friend to me. being there for me and all your care =) all the long hours we've been spending togther and all the help youve given me. really appreciate you alot. thanks bing.. you're a great guy.. great friend..

arghh.i think im suffering from fatigue.. im quite quite tired..

bahh.today was an eventful day.the kind of day you'll never forget, actually the kind of day that i'll struggle to remember cos so many things happened today. its not really like real physical events that happened. its more of emotional upsurges and traumas =) but its a good day in all.

hmm thanks to all those who care. lai,bing,firas,ben,camy,yonghui,tim and all those i didnt mention. im fine. thanks to all the chocs that supported me thru. and all the care you guys gave me =)

and to nah and jue: sorry.and thanks. you guys have been one of the most wonderful things that happened to me. God has given me the two bestest friends anyone could ask for.and i dun see why things would change. goodluck for the future in netball.hey, dun be the pessimistic selves you guys are. things may be better than you thought it would be. you guys are the greatest team mates anyone could ask for. im still here for you guys, to be the usual listener i am for you two to pour your complaints on. and dont need to stop talking about netball in front of me. im stil the huimin who went thru 5 years of seasons with you two.

had a nice talk with my cousins.heh.i love my two cousins who are so absolutely so nice to talk to. i thank God for all the pple i have whom i love. heh all the girlfriends who never fail to be there for me. all you guys rock my socks. or shakes my cakes. or stones my clones. (heh private joke made up by me and jue)

hai.i made the decision long before this.but today was the day i realized the full consequences of my decision.it was by far one of the hardest one i had to make. but ive thought it thru and i know this is for the best.. so i am going to make it the best.. i will not regret my decision. and the only thing that keeps me back are my two team mates, anna and juelin. but i know this is it.

thinking back in retrospect (today only), today was really a eventful day. =) for some stuff. =( for some. but overall, im a happy huimin now.

i hope that this now will work out. and things wont end up the same like how it did. i hope you and me. together we'll make it work.

haha.enough of vague shit and time for details. was nearly late for school.rushed into sch only to get a surprise cos i bumped into weixian though he told me he wasnt coming. his mum forced him to come sch.haha. went lt3 for gattaca the movie screening for gp.sitting beside a just-recovered-from-chickenpox weixian makes huimin feel itchy.haha. the whole day went quite okayy. me and jue had a damn fun time in ih lect.laughing at a certain pau..damn damn funny. thought we were going to get ticked off by mrs pandian.haha.

happy huimin was high on chocolates. i hope i can sustain not thinking about my decision. ill miss everything.alot alot..hai =(

i love to quote lynette.funny how she seems to be able to speak my mind and put what i think into words at the exact right time.so anyway, quoted: love finds u when u're most happy being independent...

yeah thats the huimin im gonna be. move on and to hell with everything else. its just me and the pple i love and care about in this world. what for think and expect so much when you can just lay back and let things happen without having to grapple with disappointment..

it sucks.really alot.when you have to deal with a great deal of disappointment. i nearly cried. i teared. but to hell with all of that..

to the class girls: hai dun expect too much from what i told you guys might happen. i dun think things will work out that way.so yeah whatever.

argh didnt get to watch mean girls again!! grrrr!! pooled at mambo with lai da mastar, bing, chris ho da king, hong and kenneth. heh pool rocks. haha kenneth was damn spastic, gave me this stupid call, named the meow meow call before everyone came.

me: hello?
kenneth: meow meow
me: meow meow your head.
kk: okay thats all, byee.
me: huh???

[love finds u when u're most happy being independent]

watched whole ten yards with chris, bing, khor and lai today.its a really stoner show.damn fos.haha..i wanna watch mean girls!!!

shot at outdoor range today.was like semi-raining and sunshine so was pretty irritating cos so humid and wet..hmm but was shooting okay and grouping was quite good except i still cant get my perfect relaxed grip right which is damn frustrating..

oh just recalled what camy told me.like the girls in class were at ghim moh having girl gossip time and they were talking about who will get married first.apparently there was an unanimous answer saying that they think i'll be the first one to get married.hmm wth..

oh was at the food fest in taka with bing.it seriously rocks.just walking in it made me happy =) all the food looked damn good and i went around sampling..the sampling skills i picked up from darling jue when we used to go around sampling food.haha..but the food was seriously rocker.and jue: there is rocker ice cream there again!! rocker ice cream= venezia gelato tartufo flavoured ice cream..awww yeah..

hehh. chris told me he wants to be a good boy so he promised me he wont swear anymore.okay more like try and cut down his swearing and stop calling me a bitch and whore..haha..yeah so im now his swear words stats counter. like ill count how many times he swears..haha he actually fared quite well today =)

arghh im aching all over and im damn tired..blahh needs a good massage!!and i wanna watch mean girls =)

oh wx won 3rd for his completed event despite not trng for two weeks.haha not badd.come boasting to me..and he has his 100free on tues the finals..hmm class pple wanna go support the airhead? cos he says im supposed to bring a horde of cheerleaders if he gets silver for his event..haha.

today was a good fun day.haha.my full 510 friday in a loooong time.hehh.but it was quite fun.and lots of classic shite happened today.haha..

hmm in gp, yonghui was being seriously hilarious.omg.laughed till it ached.classic moments by yh: so when you clone the child right, so is it alive or dead? next one, yonghui: im gonna bluff all of you later! ....hahahahah.whatever yonghui..

oh found out about that another couple in class today.heh heh..congrats girly =)

heh pe was so fun.except that farking screwed up thing that ruined my day. like immature imbecile idiots. ok think only some pple would know what im talking about.but i was damn pissed off.that stupid fat shite.wtf..all thanks to weixian i get insulted by that asshole who doesnt even know what respect for a girl means..

hmm then came home to bathe and change and deposit my bag then went pp to shoot.hmm didnt get to shoot much today.haha then at our "supper", kenneth and me were playing rubbish childhood games while bing ken they all were talking.and he stupid idiot drew all over my hand!

heh today was generally quite nice..i really love the class girls =) love you girlies =) i mean, its so fun and easy to tell you guys stuff, and we have shitload of fun together..heh lets continue this and all our girl convos alrightyy? heh being the support and good friend for each other..

had fever so didnt go to sch today.

shooting today was good.learnt alot.hmm wanna shoot more..

on the other hand, argh.how how how?

omg tiff rocks! heh she won gold for 400m free..yay, called me right after lit and before econs lect started i think..well, she rocks! heh.

yay bing says i have damn high work rate.haha..yeah especially during econs lect today, had to copy alot of shite, one of notes for myself and one for weixian.could keep up perfectly drawing those graphs and could even understand.haha. double workrate, i rock =)but shit weixian better recover quickly.

hmm oh man my face feeling hot all over.think its like feverish..arghh..hmm went pool with bing ben eman, then chris ho lai psy and char joined us.oh then khor came also, just to play one game with me.haha..

hmm just got home not long ago.quite shagged.shoulders aching.hmphh..

sch was so sian as usual.even though it was only first day of sch..hai, did terribly for econs and alot better than expected for sea.haha.but still fail la.haha..oh and i got chased for overdue essays by three teachers in a row.am i pro or pro? all essays were due like damnn long ago.

haha hist was quite funny today.mrs pandian wasnt here so it was like mass lesson with other sea hist classes.then the stupid ruggers sitting behind me like koped my bag and then made me make a fool outta myself in front of cheng tju.hmm, then went canteen to wait for kayhian's uncle to come fetch us.was with bud looking thru the rg yearbook and looking for chiobus.haha.and bud is damn spas.went to ask someone sth that i asked him, and that someone blogged about it.haha.was quite funny when i was reading it..

then went kayhian's house.those gamers were doing gaming stuff and i was so bored i fell asleep on kayhian's bed..those idiots, hmm prob bing , took like a picture of me sleeping on his bed.haha then we went ppcc to shoot..

hmm mr wee rocks my socks.he helped me fix my arrow rest, changed a new string, untwisted the limbs of my bow and helped me fix everything.hmm and didnt charge me..heh yay he rocks..then he was super nice and encouraging, coaching me abit here and there..hmm i wanna be able to shoot damn zai-ly soon..

hmm me kenneth, bing eng and hong all squeezed into his car and back to his home.hmm then they ate and played some ball then we all went home..hmm kenneth's soccer like got better.hehh..

hai..so sian of school.hmm got temasek seminar thingy after sch tmr..haii siann..think i should rest tmr and come home and sleep.or try to start doing my essays..overdued essays.

hmm just read lynette's blog.she said some stuff like, how things can be really wonderful if you really work at it. how love will never be a bed of roses, but ultimately as long as the two people put their heart to it, things will work.. about how she believes in love, and that fairytales do come true..

i think so too.

do you think so?







but you've never told me you love me, so maybe it doesnt work that way..

hmm just came home from hong's house.heh had shitload of fun.

went to shoot in the morning with bing.went like the outdoor range..was quite fun shooting outdoors.but it was shite hot.then later it started raining.then went back to ppcc and went for the archers meeting or sth like that.haha was quite spas laughing over mr tang's "do you still have your fear till Now?" haha.and me trying to make bing fall over his chair and then ken making me fall over mine.haha..then me and bing went off to tchs in bing's parents car..hmm then i went home from tchs..

took a bus to hong's house after bumming at home.haha went in then got dragged to play bball with tim, bing and chris ho.kenneth they all were being stoners swimming.all tried to dunk me but obviously failed.hahaha..

oh hong, bing and chris taught me how to play cs! haha..more of hong actually and chris cutting in at times to give me advice in simple terms.haha..was quite fun, had like counterstrike tutorial.hahahah..oh chris and charlene were playing with my stoner hp game the music pang pang..it rocks.haha.ultimate stoner game! haha..

oh chris wanted to like wax or gel my hair all up into one stick.but we couldnt find wax or gel and he wanted to use toothpaste when we were in hong's toilet trying to find stuff.haha..and that fag took my phone and msg rubbish to pple.but he got hooked on the ultimate music pang pang game.haha..

hmm cooked like fried rice with bing then came home on a cab.yep here i am.haha..if only i could stay to watch the match and stay over.hmphh..

think its gonna be a long long busy day tmr.er thats if i do everything i planned to do..omg im gonna be so stoned tmr cos i have to leave house at like 8 or 9 and im gonna sleep like after euro finals.

hmm my template's alwways like..black. then i just like change the pics.hmm i dun like other colour theme anyway.

yay last two papers today.math is confirm fail.cos even if i got correct for all that ive did, i'll still get like at most 20/70.mwahah..hmm lit was okay i guess.i kinda had fun writing the essay.finished like 6 full sides.yay. but once again, huimin banks on quantity and no quality. omg looks like im so gonna get screwed for this cts.but well, who gives a damn.

lalalala..

oh my uber jackage this morning.hmm came kinda late for math.ran into the lt without putting my bag in locker.then realised forgot to bring calculator so it was like more running about frantically to look for math teachers.then came back in all sweaty and flushed.then this crazy teacher was like at the front of the lt parading with my pretty vondutch bag.shes like, oh no bags in the exam hall..then crazily just left it at some random table so i have to go search for it myself..like wth?

went nydc holland with classmates.and was quite fun..haha with my sudden outbursts of highness at times.haha then went back to sch for lit..watched spiderman and stupid kenneth was being idiotic using his rolled up new paper to hit me thru out the movie.ate at nydc again.haha..twice in a day.

oh tim took this pic of me and kenneth outside lido.he was bullying me at that time but soemhow the pic turned out that it looked like he was so innocent and i was the evil one.TIM DELETE THAT PIC WITH THAT SPASTIC TITLE!

omg.i need to like save money.and cure my wasting money problem.in serious need of help.

boinks..huimin gives up on math, havent touched anything.and since im gonna fail anyway, im just going to give up. like seriously.

yay spiderman tmr =) end of common tests!

i love how your eyes close whenever i hold you,
i love how you think of me without being told to.
i love the way your kiss is always heavenly,
but darling most of all i love how you love me.

hmm got woken up by khor's msges and call, or else i would have been still sleeping now.

yesterday: lit paper was alright.hmm its kinda hard to judge how well you'd do for lit cos even if you wrote shite and smoke thru, you never know what kinda marks you'd get.hmm then cabbed down to pp after that.to shoot and destress. =) heh bing didnt even shoot much and kenneth didnt even open his case to set up bow!!omg and they call me the slacker and the distraction.wth.oh they were being spas as usual, doing stuff like kk sitting on me, then bing like charged at us then kk moving away at the last second, leaving me getting jacked by bing.omg.

omg portugal won 2-1.poor keith.must have lost quite abit.

today: im supposed to stay home and mug and practise math.how sian is that? pc and math tmr, must get ample rest tonight..finally ill sleep early for once.